Fridays I try to make it a ritual to end my blogging week with a lighter note. This time I will exempt myself from doing so. I have been thinking about the future. I’ve been thinking hard about Christianity. I’m a bit in a theological bind. I don’t know what denomination which I will find myself in a couple of years.
I was raised in Pilgrim’s Rest Baptist Church. My grandfather, who recently left this earth for glory last December, was my first pastor. He was unapologetically Baptist by confession. Yet he sowed a seed within me that seems to reap a bit of a dilemma. He taught me to be “pro-Christian”. He exemplified this by leading choirs in A.M.E. circles and preaching in their pulpits. When I was a child my mother would take us boys to visit Trinity Lutheran Church which was across from where we used to live in Philly. It was pastored by a black woman, Pastor Keyes. When we moved to New Jersey, we volunteered at a Presbyterian Church across the street from our house in Blackwood.
We moved back to Philly after three years in the Garden State. We went back to Pilgrim’s Rest. When Pop Pop retired from the pastorate in 2000, I haven’t been an official member of a Baptist Church since then. I started to go to my cousin’s church after it moved to its mega-church facility in 2000. I even walked down the aisle to become the member. I haven’t completed all the new member’s classes. I left because it felt it was too big and I got lost in it and it was too far from my house. Then I attended an A.M.E. church around the corner from my house in Upper Darby, PA. It was a good church, until it disbanded after the pastor’s impropriety was brought out in the public. Although I attend my mother’s Baptist Church when I return home from college often, I am not a member.
I am currently a member of a non-denominational evangelical church housed at Millersville. It was in college I was exposed to evangelicalism. I started doing research, buying books, reading Christianity Today magazine. I identified myself as a conservative evangelical not realizing what connotations I would invoke when I said it. I later started to do research on Pentecostalism. I started to watch TBN, pop-Pentecostalism du jour like an addict. Later I started to look into mature and sound Pentecostal theology through Internet research databases at school. It’s truly like night and day after watching TBN and reading critical and informed thought from Pentecostal scholars like Frank Macchia, Terry L. Cross, Amos Yong, and Cheryl Bridges Johns. Unlike like many of the Charismatic celeb preachers on TBN, these folks actually earned their doctorates at accredited institutions. I stopped watching TBN regularly without withdraw.
After being “baptized in the Holy Spirit” at a church leadership conference at school in 2006, I identified myself as Pentecostal. That same year I was called to preach. When I told my grandfather he wanted to know what was my theological convictions. I told him Pentecostal. He asked me which denomination would I seek ordination. I told him either Church of God in Christ (COGIC) or Assemblies of God. He told me he’d prefer COGIC.
Currently I am at theological crossroads. I have researched many Protestant denominations theological confessions, but I really don’t know what it really means to be a Protestant Christian. Funny thing is my grandfather never viewed himself as a Protestant. He told me “Baptists are not Protestants because we have nothing to protest against.” (I take it he meant that Baptists were not protesting against Roman Catholicism. Yet Baptists came out or alongside the Anabaptist movement and both find infant baptism unbiblical which was practiced in the Reformed Churches in Europe at the genesis of these movements.)
I don’t see myself ever becoming a Roman Catholic. Eastern Orthodoxy, hmm, tempting, but no. Both really do seem attractive to many a disillusioned Protestant fed up with Protestantism. I may be wrong, but I would really miss African American preaching from both men and women. Yes, I’m an egalitarian so that would really take me out of communion with the two older churches. I wonder if they really think we non-Catholics and non-Orthodox Christians are saved. That’s another post for another day.
That’s why I’m interested in the study of Christian theology. There are so many things to understand about the Christian faith. I want to understand what I believe in order that I may serve the God I confess as Lord and Savior. I just want to be a faithful to Him. He’s been faithful me. So I pray the Lord leads me to the place of conviction to serve within a context He’s foreordained to be. The thing is that maybe a place that I least expect it and that’s a hard prayer to swallow. Let His will be done.
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