Last year a student group hosted at Duke Divinity School a brown bag discussion on the topic of LGBT inclusion in the Church. The panel included three local openly gay (1) and lesbian (2) pastors of “welcoming and affirming” congregations. Others included two heterosexual professors who were affirming of same-sex unions and one heterosexual female elder who pastors a “reconciling” UMC parish, a congregation which belongs to a grassroots movement within the United Methodist Church which advocates on behalf of LGBT Christians. There were no traditionalists represented on the panel.
I was deeply frustrated two nights before because I knew it was going to be a very slighted discussion. I was even more frustrated because there were other voices left out of this conversation, namely same-sex attracted Christians who believe that homosexual practice is sinful in all contexts. Because of their convictions, they remain celibate (although some do marry persons of the opposite sex). Out of my frustration came this poem. I post it here for your viewing. I dedicate this poem to Wesley Hill, Ron Belgau, and all others who have the courage to walk the journey of celibacy as gay Christians. Their voices need to be heard.
Where is my voice?Hiding,snuffed out by two dominant voices,One – conservative, conserving, demanding truth, proclaiming “orthodoxy,protecting – the sanctity of marriage – one man, one woman,life-long commitment,“That what the Bible says….Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve!”The Other – progressive – calling for change, inclusion,“God love us too! She made us this way…It’s not a sin to love!”“Love = Love….that’s what Jesus would say…God is still speaking!”Two voices – fighting, raging!“Whose side are you on!!!”Conservatives – “biblical truth or rebellion?”Progressives – “radical inclusion or oppression?”Where is my voice?Snuffed out – at timesby the cold, cruel blade…“Whose side are you on!!!”A voice no one dares to hear…Conservatives – “It’s an oxymoron to be gay and Christian…choose!”Progressives – “How can you live in such a place of loneliness? Aren’t you just repressing your feelings? Self-hatred kills!”Where is my voice?small, yet emergingtrembling, with a whisperlonging to speak,daring to speak,waiting to speak,from a place…of peace and not despair,of love and not fear,of assurance and not doubt,from faith….Where is my voice?It waits for the Powerfrom on High,It desires to speak that which it has heard,“the Word became flesh….”My voice waitsfor the Spirit,who gives life and peace.I will not be silent for long.Until then,I will be still,and wait,and listen,and pray,so,at the appointed timeI will speakof the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.I will speakof His marvelous works – within me.I will speakof His loving-kindness and tender mercies.I will not be silent for long.Until then,my voice waits within its chambers,trembling…longing…waiting…yet resting…I will not be silent for long.
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Love your poem Jason!